these are the thoughts

these are the thoughts that go through my head
in my backyard on a sunday afternoon
when i have the house to myself and i am not
expending all that energy on fighting with my boyfriend

is he the one that i will marry?
and why`s it so hard to be objective about myself
why do i feel cellularly alone?
am i supposed to live in this crazy city
can blindly continued fear induce regurgitated life-denying
tradition be overcome

where does the money go that i send to those in need
if we have so much why do some people have nothing
still why do i feel frantic when i first wake up in the morning
why do you say you are spiritual
yet you treat people like shit

how can you say you`re close to god
and yet you talk behind my back as though i`m not
a part of you why do you say you`re fine when it`s
obvious you are not, why`s it so hard to tell you what i want
why can`t you just read my mind

why do i fear that the quieter i am the less you will listen
why do i care whether you like me or not
why`s it so hard for me to be angry
why is it such work to stay conscious and so easy to get stuck
and not the other way around

will i ever move back to canada again?
i`d be with a lover with whom i am a student
and oh master why am i encouraged to shut my mouth
when it gets too close to home why cannot i live in the moment?

(bkz: alanis morissette)
(bkz: mtv unplugged)